07 Sep Thoughts are not Facts: How to Stop Believing Everything you Think – a CBT Perspective
Thoughts are not facts. I use this line at least once a day in my job (and I regularly say I am going to get it printed on t-shirts!).
From a CBT perspective, thoughts are basically stories. They are interpretations our mind makes based on past experiences, our beliefs, our mood or even how our day started. These stories that are not always accurate.
Have you ever thought someone was ignoring you because they didn’t reply to your message, only to later realise the message is still sitting in your outbox? In the moment your mind probably jumped to “They must be annoyed with me” or “I must have done something wrong”. Then when you gain more insight into the situation you realise it wasn’t about you at all. That’s how powerful our thoughts can be, but also how unreliable.
What we think matters, because our thoughts shape our emotions. If your mind tells you a story that something is wrong you will feel anxious, upset or frustrated. If your mind tells a story that things are okay and there’s a reasonable explanation, your emotions soften. You feel calmer, more confident and more in control. Changing your thoughts can literally change how you feel.
In CBT we call these patterns of thinking Cognitive Distortions. You might notice yourself engaging in patterns of thinking like:
- All-or-nothing thinking “If it’s not perfect, it’s a failure.”
- Mind reading “They didn’t smile, so they must not like me.”
- Catastrophising “If this goes wrong, everything will collapse.”
Sound familiar? You’re not alone, we all do this from time to time.
The good news is that you don’t have to just go along with every thought that shows up. You can pause and check them out, look for the evidence.
Here’s a simple way to try it:
Catch it. Notice the thought when it shows up.
Question it. Ask: Is this fact, or just my mind telling a story?
Balance it. See if you can reframe it in a way that’s a bit fairer or kinder.
So instead of thinking, “I always mess things up,” you might pause and reframe this to, “I forgot that one detail today, but I’ve handled plenty of things well in the past.”
These tiny shifts matter. It gives us breathing space, eases the pressure and reminds us that we are so much more than a single thought. And because our thoughts shape our emotions, when our thinking softens, our feelings follow. We feel calmer, more capable and more in control.
Next time a thought pops up that drags you down, remember, it’s just a story your mind is telling you. You don’t have to believe it and you get to choose which stories you hold onto. One thought at a time, you can start feeling a little lighter and more yourself.